You’ve probably seen this video already (me too, just so you don’t think I haven’t kept up with news stories about the mounting job losses), but it’s worth watching again at least until some asshole starts putting his hand in front of the camera which is the white trash version of “No comment.”
Apparently, some guys at a GM dealership in Michigan got canned so they very logically got drunk and started fighting each other. It actually doesn’t look like much of a fight to me but that’s not the point.
From now on, I’m taking a cooler of beer with me to work every day. When the job cuts come, I’ll be all, “Hey guys, let’s stick around in the parking lot for awhile and knock back a few for old times sake.”
And they’ll be all, “Number one, we never did this, not one single time, so it can’t be for old time’s sake.”
And I’ll say, “So what? It’s free beer.” And then they’ll probably be like, “Well, in that case ..”
And after everyone has a good buzz I’ll tell them, “Shit, I thought the media would be here by now. Hold on. I have to get my video camera.”
And they’ll be confused by that so I’ll have to explain, “DON’T YOU WANT TO BE ON TV? GET READY, I’M COMING OVER THERE TO KICK YOUR ASS.”
And it’s true that someone will probably pipe up with, “No, not really, I don’t want to be on TV for fighting my co-workers because I’m a fairly educated person. Besides, I have to get home and break the news to my wife that she’s going to have to take an extra job at The Waffle House.”
But by that time I will be setting up my video camera and I’ll be interrupting them with, “Can someone help me with this tripod?” And someone will, because they are mostly very nice people who like to help out when asked.
And then I’ll go back over and get in a fighting stance but right before I throw the first punch I’ll have to say, (I know this part is true because this is kind of how things happen with me), “Damnit, hold on a sec, I forgot to turn on the fucking camera.”
Let’s face it: There is a possibility that if I get on TV for fighting fellow employees during a crisis, I could wind up with opportunities like TPFKAJ. That’s The Plumber Formerly Known As Joe, if you haven’t figured it out.
Actually, it probably should be TPWMOMNHBAPAWMOMNHPHTBWNWDJ, which means, “The Plumber Who May Or May Not Have Been A Plumber And Who May Or May Not Have Paid His Taxes But Whose Name Was Definitely Joe.” Either way, Joe went from being an out of work something or other to doing interviews on the national tax plan because apparently someone decided he was an expert in these matters.
And where is Joe today? Exactly my point. I don’t know and neither do you. Don’t be a smart ass and google him and then tell me what he’s doing today because I don’t really care. And neither do you. I thoroughly enjoyed Joe’s 15 minutes but they’re over. Lesson learned. I have to strike while the iron is hot.
